Lasik Eye Surgery

I just had lasik, and am on my third day of recovery. I'm glad I did it. I had put the procedure off for several years. The first reason was price. I was waiting for it to come down as the technology improved. The second reason, which took up all of last year, was fear. I just couldn't bring myself to accept the fact that a laser would be cutting into my cornea, and I'd feel it.

But I needed to make a decision because my eyesight had changed for the worse. Since I'm no longer in my thirties, my glasses no longer held ground for both near and far vision. Traditionally near-sighted, I now found myself having to take off my glasses to read or crunch numbers, then put them back on if I had to look up at someone, or somewhere. My eyes would take a long moment to adjust which began dragging me down at work, and I'm an accountant. I also got tired of taking my glasses off at restaurants to read the menu and see my food, but not being able to see the person I was eating with. Blurry dates were no fun.

Progressive lenses were a less expensive option. I would be able to have the best of both worlds (visions) without the old fashioned line bisecting them in half. But having worn glasses for the last thirty years, I was ready for a new look. A better look, one where everyone told me I looked better "without my glasses."

So I called the long-postponed ophthalmologist and scheduled the appointment. Surprisingly, the surgery would only take about ten minutes; five per eye.

After a series of eye tests I was handed a tiny Valium to take. Then I was told to lie down on the bed, facing the ceiling. The room was dust free, as the doctor, her assistant, and I all wore shower caps and foot caps.

She covered my left eye with tape in order to operate on the right eye first. Having my eyelids taped open bothered a bit, and I feared when the tape would be pulled off, but it was just a hint of what soon was to come; an experience.

Several drops were put into my right eye, probably an anesthetic, because I did not feel at all when the doctor placed a metal clamp in my eye to keep it open. Then she adjusted it wider. Still staying with the experience, I felt like saying, "A Clockwork Orange."

But immediately after, I heard a buzzing, and a huge spaceship-like laser machine hovered over my face just inches from me. It looked just like the mother ship from "Close Encounters," complete with two panels of eight white lights each, with three spider-like lights dancing between them. Two red, with the center one green. I was told to focus on the green.

The green light soon blurred and things became dark. My eye felt like it was being sucked out. I found myself clutching my fists to endure the uncomfortable feeling. I heard the sound of a small drill working, which was actually the laser. Then the stench of something burnt entered my nose. I held my breath, not wanting to smell the cutting of my own cornea.

Soon the pain was over and I relaxed my fists. The doctor asked me how I felt while pulling out the clamp and tape. Trying to remain a good sport, I responded I was fine, only to be told we'd do the left eye next.

Following the same procedure again, I finally was helped off the operating table and lead to my ride home. Being forewarned, my eyes immediately shut as I placed my new "Terminator" sunglasses on, and stayed shut for the next six and a half hours.

Making a long story short for that day, taking Tylenol kept the pain at bay. Upon falling asleep with my new protective, ultra-geek goggles, I worried my eyes would be stuck shut the next morning. But they weren't, and I could see! A week's worth of three different types of drops in my eyes, combined with three weeks' worth of my brain accepting this surgery, and I'd have fine vision!

I'm now three days into recovery and so glad the procedure and moderate pain are long gone. I can't wait for week three when my brain tells my two eyes all is well and I can see close and far again. [This story was hand written three days after the surgery, but typed into this blog three weeks after].

The Drinker

Copyright 2003

I’m not much of a drinker, but I did go to a bar with a buddy and observed the other customers sitting along side me. They all looked like poor, lost souls. I imagined myself as one of them, and this is what I came up with.

Lost souls sitting at the bar,

Drinking their lives away,

Not needing to go far.

Hurt souls crying at the bar,

Drinking away their loved ones,

Who have run away so far.

Come join us as we cry from within,

Smiling on the outside,

Inside things are grim.

One more shot of vodka,

One last swig of beer.

How I wish all my friends,

Were still with me here.

Here tonight,

And here tomorrow,

Drink away my hurt and sorrow.

Remembering not the things of a smile,

Only sad times,

That were never worthwhile.

Come drink with us,

the dark group of lost souls,

Fallen from grace and heaven,

Abandoning our roles.

We all were once such happy beings,

Dancing in the sun.

But years of uphill battles,

Made life difficult to be won.

If you look deep in your heart,

You may stay strong, not fall apart.

But if you step inside to drink,

The spirits will drown you,

Once you blink.

You think of happy times before,

Gone forever, nevermore.

And time runs out, far from your side.

This bar is refuge,

Where you can hide.

Will you ever come back, my love, to me?

Or are you really gone,

Never to see?

For here I am,

and here I stay,

Another round of vodka,

To help me float away.

Float away to that place I stay,

Deep within my mind.

The liquid spirits carry me,

To places hard to find.

Another shot, but it’s the last,

Another horrid night has passed.

To fall again, then helped to my feet.

I climb to my new home, my seat.

The bartender, my best friend now,

Will pour me no more,

When I lie on the floor.

I look at him,

and plead with a tear,

Just one more, I swear it,

For morning is near.

And when morning arrives,

And a new day comes forth,

I’m lonely and dying,

For the bar, my self-worth.

Faireground Security Guard Tips For First Timers

As a first time security guard in a large public gathering, the first thing you want to do is to look relaxed and listen to your instructor. If you’re not relaxed, a week will go by and your fellow guards will tell you that you look spooked. The public will instantly pick up on the fact you are new. And that will eliminate any confidence they should have for you, as well as not earn you any respect. So give yourself the upper hand and relax while you’re being trained, or are new on duty.

Along with being relaxed, you must lose any personable, friendly smile since you have to separate yourself from the general public. This doesn’t mean to grimace all the time. Just maintain a pleasant but serious look. Remember, you have to look approachable because people will need to come up to you when they have questions.

One of the first things you’ll do is be partnered with an experienced guard that knows the best. Watch him and listen to his suggestions. He’ll tell you how things are done. Get a feel for how he assesses situations and takes action on them. If he takes no action and only observes, take note. Your job is to absorb and learn how he does his job, so you can mimic, and then master it. Before you ask a barrage of questions, let him teach you by showing or suggesting. After a day or so, you’ll have all of your questions answered.

As you walk through the crowds you must move slowly, or “amble” as my trainer, Tony, explained. Ambling ensures you can observe more around you. You’re less apt to miss a possible conflict or rule-breaking person. It also gives a strong security presence to the public. They know you’re close by and may think twice about acting out of order. Ambling portrays a feeling of confidence and being in control. You are not in a hurry to get anywhere, and receive no brownie points for covering the entire event in record time.

One thing you want to look out for is minors drinking. Aside from it being against the law, your fair or festival may lose its liquor license. And a public event with no alcohol may not be very popular the following year. Keep an eye open for “pass-offs,” or adults handing alcohol to minors. This happens close to the beverage stands but can also occur far from them as well, which is a sneakier way irresponsible adults can pass-off drinks. If you happen to see an adult carrying two drinks, keep an eye on him. He might have bought the second for a minor not in the immediate area.

You may need to approach the two-drink holder and ask who the second drink is for. Depending on the rules of your event, you might have to see the person who will receive the second drink. Some customers will feel intruded on, and get angry with you, but it’s your job.

Another alcohol-related issue is the person who drinks too much. You will see him acting up or falling around. Upon approaching the drinker remember to say, “Sir/Ma’am, I’d really like it if you put the drink down. I think you’ve had enough.” Say it firmly. If the person refuses and becomes obnoxious, tell him you really don’t want to escort him out of the park. What you’re doing is giving him a chance. Empowering the person to make the right decision while you don’t appear commanding or telling him what to do.

The same method is used for arguing guests before a fight erupts. You tell them to stop the mayhem because you really don’t want to get the police, who are nearby. Hopefully your rebellious guests will calm down. If not, you may radio your police.

Aside from assessing problems, you will need to facilitate light medical emergencies too. At most outdoor events, guests can succumb to heat exhaustion. Others twist their ankles, trip, and bump themselves. When approaching a guest needing medical attention, remember not to touch them physically. It’s a legal and liability issue that works against the company. Your intention may be to offer emotional support but it’s smart not to touch.

Instead, remember your question asking procedure. Ask the injured person if you may call the EMT (Emergency Medical Team) for him. Ask the guest if you may bring a wheelchair if he needs transporting to your EMT area. By empowering the injured person with the decision, you save the company and yourself from being liable. It’s sad, but many event patrons will indeed follow up an injury accident with a lawsuit.

Each serious medical call, as well as other disruptive occurrences, should be written up in your incident report. Immediately after the medical problem has been dealt with, ask the injured person’s companion for the injured’s name and contact information. Write down exactly what transpired at the time of injury. Jot down every detail. This is important because the injured, once healed, has up to two years to take legal action against your company. But accurate records on your part is the best defense for someone else’s negligence and greed.

Knowing all these pointers is an excellent start for entering security guard duty. If you wish to become professional, there are courses as well. Teaming up with different security partners per day will also teach you different styles of the points I’ve made. So amble along and enjoy your work.

Visiting Seattle

I had never been to Seattle before, so I smiled when I saw the Space Needle in the distance. It seemed to follow me wherever I drove, throughout the steep, hilly streets, refusing to fade from view.

Then as I parked and toured on foot, it decided to play peek-a-boo with me, hiding behind colorful, orange brick buildings, then suddenly appearing overhead between alleys and streets.

The day was uncharacteristically clear and hot for Seattle; beautiful blue sky and eighty-five degrees. Perfect for this California boy who had just left one-hundred-plus degrees in the smoke-filled skies of Los Angeles. Yes, I smiled here today.

My group and I agreed on Pike’s Place. Dozens of brightly-lit fluorescent signs brought the main hall alive. They all hung in the shapes of fish. Rows of multicolored flowers from vendors became a background to the signs. The whole scene looked like a live painting.

Pike’s Place was packed with people, making it a fun challenge to navigate through the main aisle. It seemed the entire city was here.

The temperature dropped as the warm, flowery colors changed to cold white. I was flanked by tall mounds of ice in this seafood-selling section. Large fish were flying through the air. Not flying fish, but salmon being tossed by loud, energetic workers entertaining the visitors.

As the crowd gathered in a crescent around a fish vendor, who was soliciting our attention, a huge salmon catapulted over the counter. It flew over the vendor’s head, right towards us. We all screamed and jumped back, only to see the fish land lightly on the ground without a sound. It was made of soft cloth. Ha! The joke was on us. I had to apologize to the girl in back of me for landing on her foot.

Leaving Pike’s Place, we decided to enter another world, an underworld. The underground tour of old Seattle. If there ever were a positive spin on “crappy,” this was it. As we walked the dark, empty rooms, our witty tour guide explained the former city’s sewage system. She told us the first flush toilet had been invented by a Mr. Crapper. These “crappers” became very popular, for obvious reasons, and soon everybody owned one. However, the seaport city rested on a hill and the sewage system was less than perfect, for every time the tide came in, it would backwash all the crappers and create quite a mess. I tried to find humor in this situation when our deadpan comic tour guide made repetitive jokes and references to the backwash, the mess, sitting on the crappers at high tide, and the bathrooms being flooded with: starts with “c.”

Due to strong hunger pangs, I still ate lunch after this enlightening tour.

With the sun high, and the Space Needle still looking down at us, we gravitated toward the landmark with scores of people from all directions. It invited us to go up, up, and still up to its very top, where it shared with us its personal three-hundred-sixty degree view of beautiful seaworthy Seattle!

The Temp Who Thought He Was Permanent

Once there was a temporary worker who thought he was permanent. He was given a short-term assignment of only two weeks, in a big, name-brand, national corporation. He arrived the first day bright and early. His suit; fresh from the cleaners, his hair; neatly combed and styled. He greeted everyone with a polite smile and a firm handshake while his new supervisor introduced him to the office.

For his two-weeks he was very professional, handling all his tasks diligently and with calm demeanor. He coordinated with his fellow employees and met all his deadlines. He took his temporary job very seriously and was actually glad to be here.

At the end of his two week assignment, his boss called him in and offered to extend the assignment for another month.

“I must be doing a good job,” thought the temp. He was proud, felt good, and gladly accepted the extension. As the weeks went by, he continued working diligently, always being pleasant with the other employees, and really enjoyed working here. His supervisor, and soon all the other supervisors, saw he was very capable and started handing him more assignments. The assignments also became more difficult and involved. But the temp welcomed new challenges and took pride in proving he could take-on more.

He started working quicker and harder. His days became faster paced. The supervisors became very impressed with the temp’s performance and soon allowed all the non-management employees to hand him their extra workloads. The temp became very busy, but he did his best and did not mind this. He felt part of the company, just like a regular employee.

At the end of the month his supervisor called him in again and said management was so impressed with him they decided to once again extend his contract but this time for six months.

“Hmmm,” thought the temp. This sounded like good news but something didn’t feel right about it. “Is there a chance of me being made permanent?” he asked. His supervisor told him that “management” was considering this, but it was too soon to tell. The temp saw this as an opportunity and became optimistic. He gladly agreed to the six-month extension as the future may hold some promise. He continued to work hard the next six months. The employees liked him. He was invited to go on breaks with them, and he almost always had someone to have lunch with.

The six months flew by fast. The temp had celebrated two holidays with the office, and several birthday lunches. Finally, he sat with his supervisor and asked about the permanent position. His supervisor, an honest fellow, reluctantly told him his position would not become permanent. However, he was free to stay here on a week-to-week contract since they could still use him.

The temp’s jaw dropped and his eyes grew wide-open. Time seemed to stand still as so many thoughts raced through his head. How could he stay motivated now? He wanted to put his foot down and leave but he had no other job lined-up. He could quit and find another job, a real one. But how long would that take? He thought of his bills, his rent, his car payments. He soon arrived at a decision, and told his boss he’d stay, but would look for other positions in this huge company. His supervisor also recommended he do this. It sounded like a good plan, and the temp was once again motivated to work hard and with a smile.

Over the next few months, which flew by like days, he applied for several positions within the company. He was selective in what he applied for, since he did not know what every position entailed.

After every application, the temp would hear nothing for the longest time. Then he began receiving letters in the mail. Excitedly, he would open them only to find the shortest, coldest message stating that he did not have enough “years” of experience in specific areas of each position. A cold, dark feeling hit his gut as he knew he had to change his strategy. But things were different now. He still worked hard in his fast-paced days but his longtime smile was not there.

The months flew by like weeks and soon the temp found himself there one year. “How time flies!” he thought. He took a minute from his workload and reflected upon the fact another year had passed and he hadn’t taken a vacation. He couldn’t afford to. He didn’t have vacation days like the regular employees did. He hadn’t taken a day off. He couldn’t afford to take a day without pay. His bills would not forgive him. And he never took a sick day off. Heaven forbid if he ever got sick. He was snapped out of his thoughts by a call from his supervisor, and he got right back to work.

Only a week went by of much thinking and he came up with a great idea. He would meet with the Director of Human Resources and explain his situation. Maybe she could help him out. She had the power, and human resources was seen as sympathetic and supportive of the employees.

After a little research, he found out who the Director of Human Resources was. He planned his next day carefully, and then that day, made his move. He opened the elegant wooden door to HR and confidently approached the receptionist. Once there, he asked to meet with the HR Director. With a stroke of luck, she was available to meet with him right away. And so it started….

“I’ve been a temp here for a year now. I do like the company and would like a permanent position….” He went on about his department dragging their feet about making his position permanent. About their promises they wouldn’t keep. That he was educated and had extensive work experience in many areas. And that he had applied to several positions within the company but either received no response, or got the usual “thank you but no thank you letter” because of his lack of years of specific experience, or who knows what.

The Director of Human Resources sputtered out in a sterile corporate smile, “I’m sorry, our policy prohibits us from accepting unsolicited resumes.” The temp was taken aback. The lady looked like a human, but how could she not even hear him and utter out a pre-recorded message? So he tried again.

“No, no. I’ve been a temp here in this company for a year…” And again in unchanged expression came out, “I’m sorry, our policy prohibits us from.…”

“Unsolicited resumes!?,” he thought. He wasn’t unsolicited! Now he became angry. Angry on the inside but smart enough to stay calm and collected on the outside. So with his best fake-professional smile, he thanked the HR Director for her answer and time, and walked away demoralized.

Back at his desk he stared into his computer monitor and became more frustrated. “What have I done?” he thought. “What did I do wrong? Didn’t I work my hardest? Didn’t I finish all my assignments on time? Wasn’t I always professional? Didn’t I spend every minute of my working day for this company? Should I have looked for another job on company time? That never would have occurred to me. Why didn’t it? I never dreamed this would….”

And with that last thought he dropped his face into his hands and grimaced in defeat. He got up and handed his security badge to his supervisor, leaving him dumbfounded. The temp walked away down the quiet hallway, never wanting another temp job again.

A Single Man’s View on Dating “Don’ts” for Women

I’d like to write to young women about dating from a single man’s perspective. As I began outlining tips for this article, I remembered many times and experiences from my own recent dating. My points then became more of a “don’t do” list, but I feel compelled to share them with girls so they know what just doesn’t work with a man. And you’ll be more certain that he’ll call you again.

If some of the points I’ll discuss seem obvious to you, congratulations, you’re a better dater than most other girls. But these things did happen to me so it tells me that a lot of girls out there have more to learn.

Girls, when on a date, don’t constantly be on your cell phone. That is such a rude distraction and is immature. Don’t keep calling your girlfriends to tell them you’re on a date with whomever. And don’t keep getting the phone when it rings. I’ve had dates answer their phone over dinner, in the middle of a meaningful conversation, and twice at the movies. Turn your phone off, or if you’re expecting an important call, look at the number before you pick up. One girl had to answer her phone four times as I was trying to share a margarita with her. I finally gave up and tried to leave; however, she grabbed my arm and wouldn’t let me go.

Give the man your undivided attention. This will make him feel good about you and himself. At a restaurant, don’t start making chatty conversation or flirt with the waiters or guests at other tables. Waiters do a great job, but I’m not there for my date to become their best friend. If you absolutely have to talk to everyone you see, go out by yourself, not with a date.

Never ask a man if he kisses on the first date. That will put pressure on him and make him feel obligated. Let things happen naturally. He may want to kiss you. I once went on a date with this girl who asked me. Since I was taken aback I answered “no,” even though I would have kissed her. Needless to say, the ride home was awkward and the mood was spoiled.

This next point I’ve seen written in so many dating articles and magazines but girls just don’t listen. After a few dates, even if you really like him, don’t ask him to commit to you. Don’t pressure him or he will run. I made the mistake of kissing (for a long time) a girl on a second date and she then told me I had to call her every week, and that the following weekend we had to see a movie, and that I couldn’t just ask her out once a month. I eventually got angry with her demands and broke-off from her. Let the man be the pursuer. He needs to decide if he wants to call or see you again. I know this is rough for many girls in their thirties, but it’s the game that has to be played.

Ladies, and I use the that term loosely, if you hurry him into romance, be prepared to face the reality that he still might not call you for a while. He’s doing a lot of thinking, and it’s you who rushed him into the romance. Quick romance does not consummate the relationship as he is still free to decide the pace of seeing you. Also, he may think you are easy and seek romance from you with no intention of committing. Be careful here.

Hopefully you’re not one of these girls who are extremely choosy about restaurants or what you eat. One thing that turns a man off is a picky, high-maintenance woman. Unless you can’t stand the place he chooses, it should be fine. If you really hate the place, suggest another, but don’t do this a second time. I had a date once who decided against the first two places we arrived at. She just didn’t like the atmosphere (which was lively) or the menu, or who knows what. Thank goodness the third place was acceptable to her, (even though I had to negotiate with the manager about eating there because some special event was being held).

While on the date, ask him questions about himself. Get to know him. Who knows, you might like him. Don’t go on and on about yourself while he politely nods or says, “mmmhhmm..,” or keeps himself entertained by eating. And girls, this I find very odd, don’t go on forever about how much you love your dog or cat. Don’t pull out pet portraits from your purse as you sip wine. This happened to me at my favorite seafood restaurant, and I figured I couldn’t compete with my date’s pet.

And whatever you do, don’t bring up other men you know on your date. He will read this as lots of competition. Depending on what type of guy he is, he may decide not to jump into the ring to compete, and you’ve just fouled out. He may also think you just want to add him to your list of boyfriends.

Once you’ve gone out with him a few times, continue to be ready when he picks you up. Don’t take him for granted by making him wait outside your door, or in his car for fifteen-plus minutes. I’ve had to stand and wait in the rain which made me wonder why I was even seeing the girl.

If your date is a gentleman, don’t use profanity or sexual terms. He will immediately think you are cheap or not up to his standards, and you’ve fouled out again. I’ve turned a few girls down because of their potty-mouths. I had one lunch spoiled so I didn’t ask her out again.

Another point: I went out with this girl I kind-of liked but she’d call her girlfriends and invite them to drop in on us. If that wasn’t enough, the girls would chatter away with girl-talk which made me wonder if I should leave them alone. The date is supposed to be a special time to get to know each other, not show him off to your girlfriends. And worry about this; what if he takes a fancy to one of them?

Finally, you don’t have to give him a kiss at the end of the date if you don’t want to. Just smile and thank him for a nice time, and if he moves in, just give him your cheek. That’s still a sweet, cordial way to say thank you.

Don’t rummage for your keys or fumble at the door as if you’re desperately trying to run inside, unless you really don’t want to see him again. Many girls will thank a man for the date and turn away to unlock the door so fast. What message are you giving him?

And there you have it; my list of “don’ts” which I’ve experienced with various girls. Hopefully I will meet a nice young lady that has read enough dating articles like this one and knows the man’s perspective. When I do meet her, I hope I won’t do any of her “don’ts.”